Road Trip.......Burger Time!

Before you comment or say anything, YES, I do realize that a large proportion of my blog entries seem to be food-related! It hasn't really been planned, but with the nacho pictures at the outset of this blog, the multi-pizza themed entries and now this entry, it would seem that I have a one-track mind at times! They say you should never go grocery shopping while hungry. I guess the same can be said about blogging!

This entry starts way back in December of 2002. I was still living in my small one-bedroom apartment in Bowling Green, Ohio and had come home one night from a night out at a local drinking establishment (have no idea which one). As one would do after a long night, I just collapsed on the couch in front of the TV and passed into drunk slumber land. Around 3 to 4 in the morning, I awoke very groggy and still half-drunk and just kind of stared blankly at the TV for a minute. What I saw in this 2 minutes of half-asleep television viewing (before passing out again) was the BIGGEST FREAKING CHEESEBURGER I HAD EVER SEEN! Apparently, in my drunken state, I had started to watch Iron Chef on the food network and awoke to an episode entitled "Delicious Dives". This is all pure chance, but in the 2 minutes of being awake, I witnessed their coverage of a small "dive" in the middle of nowhere Pennsylvania called Denny's Beer Barrel Pub. It's actually located in Clearfield, Pennsylvania and features some of the biggest burgers in the world. Before my head re-hit the pillow, I somehow managed to write down the name of the place and the location.

http://www.dennysbeerbarrelpub.com/

Fast forward a little to the beginning of January, 2003 (just one month ahead). The weekend of 1/3/03 to 1/5/03 would turn out to be an AWESOME weekend! On Friday, I picked up my good friend Kerry in Bowling Green and drove to my hometown of Sandusky, Ohio. That night, as Kerry and I gathered with my other good friend Tony (and several others), we watched Ohio State (who was a double-digit underdog) upset Miami of Florida in the epic national championship game played at the 2003 Fiesta Bowl! Pretty good weekend so far, eh?

Hold on! The main reason Kerry traveled with me back to Sandusky was the fact that we had tickets to the Pittsburgh Steelers vs Cleveland Browns wildcard playoff game in Pittsburgh on Sunday. As you probably know, I am a huge Steeler fan while Kerry was a Brown's fan. So unfortunately I was guilty of transporting the enemy for the rest of the weekend. However, thinking back to the previous month's chance viewing of the Food Network, I got the crazy idea in my head that perhaps Kerry and I should take a modest detour on our way to Pittsburgh on Saturday to check out the now world-infamous Denny's Beer Barrel Pub! It did not take much arm-twisting at all to sell Kerry on the idea! Although honestly, if you mapquest the trip from Sandusky, Ohio to Clearfield, Pa and back to Pittsburgh.....it's MORE than a modest side trip!

So we got up bright and early on Saturday morning, still an excellent mood and basking in the Buckeye victory, and set out on the approximately 5 hour trip to Clearfield. The weather was grey and snow was on the ground, but we had an uneventful drive and finally pulled into Denny's......extremely hungry! So here's the deal. At that time in 2003, Denny's offered 3 sizes of mega-burgers: 2 pounds, 3 pounds and SIX (6) POUNDS! These weights do NOT include the fixings and the weight is measured AFTER cooking, so those freakin' things are even bigger before they're cooked! Each burger comes with enormous amounts of bun, cheese, pickles, mayo, ketsup, tomatoes, lettuce, mustard, onion and bell peppers, and each size has a different "challenge" you can take to try to get your name permanently etched into their 'Wall of Fame'.

So here are the challenge rules. First, you must finish the burger in the time allotted to win a shirt, get your name on the wall and get your meal paid for. You must finish the 2 pounder in one hour, the 3 pounder in an hour and a half, and the 6 pounder is three hours. Other rules include not being able to leave ANY of the fixins off the burger and oh, you CAN NOT use any utensil at all. No fork, no knife,.......nothing!

After discussing it for a few minutes, we told the waitress that even though we were damn hungry, we were there more for the novelty of it all and we'd like to split a 3 pounder between us WITHOUT taking any challenge, just to see what this thing looked like!

Well, now begins the picture portion of the entry. About an hour after we ordered it, the waitress lugged this huge monstrosity out to us, but took the loooooong way around the bar so that everyone could gawk at it! More than a few little kids were awestruck at it, including the 2 big kid jackasses where it finally landed!

This first picture shows me posing with it. Pay close attention to the fact that it basically dwarfs the pitcher of Pepsi sitting next to it!

Here's a close-up of it!

As I began to dive into it, I would occasionally look over Kerry's shoulder to the wall where all of the people were listed who actually defeated these things! However, I did notice that the plaque containing the 6 pound challenge was completely empty! Here's the burger about half-eaten.

Okay, here's the burger about 3/4 eaten. I must admit that Kerry was doing almost all of the work though. I began hitting the wall early on in the feast and this portion is probably a good indication of the total amount that I ate. I swear I don't know where Kerry was packing it away, but he must have ate around 3/4 of that damn thing!

And finally, here's the aftermath, complete with the white flag of surrender. The only stuff left was basically a vinegar pool of mustard with chopped onion and some portions of the bottom bun. Both of us wanted to try to finish off that mess, just to keep it from defeating us, but it just wasn't to be! I think the look on Kerry's face kind of sums up our physical and mental states!
After paying the bill and sitting around for a little while to try to let everything settle, we finally had to pull ourselves up under our own power and head out to the car. We still had around a 3 hour drive to Pittsburgh ahead of us (I told you it was a ridiculous detour). After getting checked into the hotel (and taking care of some business directly related to what we had done 3 hours earlier), we headed out on the town and waddled up to my favorite hangout while in Pittsburgh, Philthy McNasty's. Aside from the awesome name, there isn't really too much about this bar that stands out. I think its owners are Canadian though, because there is kind of an American/Canadian division down the middle of the room.

Here's Kerry mugging for the camera with his Molson Canadien bottle of beer!

The next day, we got up and headed over the bridge to Heinz Field. It was a very "festive" walk as I got hit by a snowball that was intended for Kerry, since he was decked out in his Tim Couch jersey and Cleveland gear. The game was AWESOME! Cleveland pulled ahead by a pretty large amount in the first half, only to see the Steelers charge back and score a go-ahead TD with less than a minute left in the game! Here I am after the game.

To avoid further ridicule on the way back to the car, Kerry asked if he could wear my coat. As he walked ahead, I yelled out to him and when he turned, I took this famous photo which I can now blackmail him with whenever I please!
So now we must fast-forward a few months. During the summer of 2003, Tony mentioned to me that it would be fun to take a road trip back to Pittsburgh to catch a ballgame at the new PNC Park. Tony had also made a couple Pennsylvania road trips with me in the past, but had never been to Denny's. Well, the fact that Kerry had basically eaten 3/4 of that 3 pound burger in January forced the thought into his head that he could actually beat the challenge! So when I mentioned that Tony and I were heading to Pittsburgh, he insisted that he tag along and that we make the same ridiculous detour back to Clearfield so that he could etch his name into inappropriate portion history!

Unfortunately I dropped the ball a little when it came to pictures during this particular trip. Tony and I decided that we were NOT going to test fate and take the challenge, so when we got to Denny's we just ordered their "hogie of the day" while Kerry ordered the 2 pounder, determined to finish that sucker under one hour! Here's a crappy Polaroid picture (the one and only pic with Kerry and his burger) with me looking on. I would have to describe that look on my face as "confused disgust" with a twinge of horror at to what I was about to witness. Remember, he had to get that thing down in one hour, using no utensils!

Well, let's just say that no extra name was going on Denny's wall that fine sunny summer afternoon in rural Pennsylvania. About half-way through, Kerry basically threw in the towel! He has a few "excuses" as to what happened, but I just think the pressure got to him! It was NOT a pretty site, so I'm kind of glad there was a lack of photo evidence. Here's a picture of Tony "trying" to enjoy his hogie, but being distracted by the train wreck that was occurring right in front of him!
In case anyone is wondering, there is now ONE name on that 6 pounder plaque! Believe it or not, a coed from New Jersey who weighed about 100 pounds finished off the 6 pound (11 pounds total with fixins) burger in less than 3 hours!!! Here's the article:

http://www.foodmarket.com/news/2005011701.html