A Question of Utmost Importance!

Does anyone remember that post I made last year at some point when I regaled everyone with my adventures through Pennsylvania....going to Steeler games and trying to eat burgers the size of a Volvo? Well, my friend Tony and I have had an ongoing disagreement about something that just hasn't sat well with me since those trips. The disagreement centers around a restaurant chain that is centered in PA and can also be found in parts of West Virginia and Ohio. As you can see, it calls itself Eat'n Park!

So here's the disagreement. Tony claims that there is absolutely nothing wrong with the name of the restaurant. I claim there is a TON wrong with the name. In fact, I think it's so wrong, that I can't even remember what Tony's reasoning was for his satisfaction with the name, seeing as how there really can't be a legitimate reason to like it except for the explicit fact of pissing me off! He can leave a comment backing up his claim, but I'll go ahead and explain my qualms and you, the readers, can simply leave a comment supporting my claim and we'll move on! How's that sound?

I have two main problems with it. First off, the apostrophe within Eat'n Park seems either misplaced, or misused. What letter(s) is the apostrophe replacing? It would appear that Eat'n is one word, but let's assume Eat'n is short for Eating. Then the apostrophe would be replacing the letter I. But what about the 'g'? There's no apostrophe for it! So is Eat'n short for the already abbreviated word Eatin'? If so, that's horrible! You've replaced the 'i' with an apostrophe and eliminated the other one!

Even though it appears that Eat'n is one word, I claim that it makes WAY more sense to say its two separate words: "eat" and "and". That would mean the name, without any apostrophes, would be read as Eat and Park! Makes sense, right? Well, not really since there should also be an apostrophe at the end of Eat'n (as in Eat'n'), because that 'd' seems to have vanished with no replacement. However, I still stand behind my claim that the whole name, strung out, reads Eat and Park. Why? Because what the hell is an Eating Park? Never, in my entire life, have I ever heard a family restaurant referred to as a "park"! I've looked up the word "restaurant" at thesaurus.com and have found the following synonyms for it:

automat, barbecue, beanery, bistro, brasserie, cafe, cafeteria, canteen, chophouse, diner, eatery, inn, luncheonette, pizzeria, porterhouse, rathskeller, rotisserie, steakhouse, tavern, tearoom, trattoria

See, not a "park" to be found! So the Eat'n Park must be short for Eat and Park, "eat" being what humans do with food, and "park" being what humans do with their vehicles in the parking lot before entering said brasserie!

So that brings me to the second big problem I have with the name. The damn words are backwards!!!!! Eat and Park??? NO! Park and Eat! How can you possibly sit down and enjoy your meal before you've parked your car? First you park, then you eat. It's that simple.

The franchise began in South Hills of Pittsburgh in 1949, with the business model that customers could drive their car and park at the restaurant, while being waited on by waitresses on rollerskates.

That excerpt is taken from wikipedia, and pretty much proves my point. Even their business model pointed out that the car must be parked before being waited on.

Here you can see a picture of the outside of an Eat'n Park restaurant. As you can see, there are several vehicles parked in the restaurant's parking lot. In a leap of faith, I am assuming that the reason the vehicles are empty is that their occupants have proceeded into the restaurant (after parking their cars) and are enjoying a piping hot meal made by dedicated cooks and served by the happy wait staff.

Okay, now here you can see several patrons of an Eat'n Park sitting down and enjoying their meals, while kept company by the friendly Eat'n Park waitress. I'd like to point out that the diners seem to be rather content and are NOT currently in a moving vehicle. My hypothesis is that their mode of transportation is parked outside in the parking lot, which occurred before they entered and sat down at their table.


Now I'm getting off the subject just a tad, but this is a logo from an establishment located in England of all places. Now I realize that it could be possible to go bowling at their place before eating, but who wants to bowl on an empty stomach? I posted the pic mostly to illustrate the correct use of BOTH apostrophes!

By the way, I've mentioned this argument to Danielle once (who is from Pittsburgh), but she just shook her head, seemed disgusted, and told me that I had way too much time on my hands! However, I think we're far enough into the relationship at this point that I can read her subtle little nuances and unspoken words and I know that what she really meant is that she's very proud of me for being so observant and insightful. The way she stroked that space between her eyes like she had a headache was a dead giveaway!

So I ask everyone who is reading this to please take one moment out of your day and respond in the comments section saying that I'm 100% correct in my argument and that Tony is simply way off-base with his! It would go a long way in putting this bitter feud behind us, and let us go on with our lives while the wounds heal over.